Have you ever had a dispute when you felt like the other party was trying to take over you? Perhaps they increased their volume. Perhaps they were constantly interrupting. Maybe they employed threats to make you fall silent.
This scenario is typical during mediation, particularly when emotions are running high. Mediation is intended to help balance both parties. What happens when one side uses aggressive strategies to control the conversation? Will the voice of the weaker one be heard? How do mediators ensure that the process remains fair? Let’s explain step-by-step.
What Does Aggressive Behaviour Look Like in Mediation?
Aggression isn’t always about screaming or pounding your fists against the table. Sometimes, it’s more subtle. It is possible to ask what the signs of aggressive behaviour are during mediation? Signs of aggression include:
- Incessant interruptions.
- Refusing to let another person talk to you.
- Smiling or laughing at what’s being said.
- Sneering, sarcasm, or a rolling eye.
- Physical intimidation, such as the forward lean in a dangerous manner.
- Inducing pressure by saying, “You are forced to choose.”
It is also possible to show aggression in silence. For example, a person could be apathetic towards the other party or not respond to try to control the situation.
Mediators have been trained to recognise any of these behaviour patterns quickly. This is crucial, as the quicker they spot the behaviour, the quicker they can adapt the procedure.
Why Aggression Can Wreck Conflict Mediation
The use of aggressive tactics causes fear. They silence the weaker one. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end, you’ve felt the feeling. Your heart beats faster as your voice gets dry and you suddenly find yourself not saying what you meant to say.
It undermines mediation. The process is only effective when both of you are able to express yourself freely and truthfully. If either of you feels victimised or under pressure by another, the “agreement” reached may be ineffective, and may fall apart in the future.
In short, anger doesn’t bring resolution. It can cause more anger. This is why mediation for conflict has protections against it.
How Mediators Handle Aggressive Tactics
The big issue: how do mediators from the UK handle this complex problem? They make use of a combination of rules, structure, and careful observation.
Ground Rules right from the start
In the beginning, mediators establish expectations. They make it clear that there should not be any raised voices, talking over one another, nor threatening or offensive language.
Equalising Speaking Time
The mediator encourages all parties to speak openly, allowing for them all to have the same amount / similar airplay. The parties need to feel, and indeed be heard.
Reframing Aggressive Words
Imagine one side saying to, or about the other, “you are hopeless.” The mediator should reframe this message to: “What I hear is that you’re worried about their reliability.” This conveys the message, but takes the sting / insult out of it.
Private Sessions
Mediators will separate the parties into separate rooms (or in online separate sessions). This allows the less confident to speak freely and not be judged, scared or intimidated.
Breaks and Pauses
If the tension in the room becomes too intense, the mediator can stop the meeting. This breaks down tensions and helps those who are overwhelmed.
Direct Intervention
If there is a pattern of bullying that continues, the mediator will point out the bullying immediately. They should address this with, “we agreed there would be no interruptions, but this is happening again. We must end this practice if we wish to move forward.”
These strategies break down destructive patterns and place the two sides on an equal playing field.
Bullying Mediation in the UK
It’s not just confined to workplaces, although that’s the most often where it is witnessed. From kids in school to neighbours who are involved in disputes, bullying behaviour can be seen wherever mediation occurs.
Mediation for bullying in the UK focuses on combating these behaviours while aiming for a solution. The mediator investigates unfair tactics, ensures equal speech rights, and also provides protection to the less able.
In some cases, the facilitator will spend more time preparing the person in need prior to the meeting. This may include helping them write the key points, or practising the right words to use in case they are feeling under pressure. These small steps help to build confidence when fear may rule.
How to Deal With Your Opposing Party in a Mediation ?
If you’re concerned about dealing with a challenging or aggressive person, you’re not all alone. Many people wonder, how do you handle difficult conversations with a challenging person? Here are some helpful tips:
- Do not combine aggressiveness with aggression. A loud voice can only make the situation worse.
- Trust the mediator. They’re trained to handle the process. It’s not your responsibility to defend yourself.
- Keep to the key essential points. Notes are always handy. This way, you don’t lose vital information in the midst of stress.
- Breathe deeply and slow down. Nervousness makes you rush; pausing helps you regain control.
- Ask for breaks. It’s your right to take a break when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
These tools will ensure that you will never be unable to make a statement when you’re in a room.
Why Agreements From Forced Pressure Fail
Many people may ask: “But if the weaker partner agrees, isn’t this still a win?” The short answer is: No. Agreements reached under pressure won’t last. Pressured agreements are fragile and unstable. However, agreements that are reached through “correct” mediation are durable and will work. Both parties have achieved an agreement, because they both were able to contribute to it on both of their terms.
FAQs on Aggression in Mediation
Q1. What if one person won’t stop being aggressive?
A: The mediator can pause the session or even end it if respect is continually broken.
Q2. What is an indicator of aggressive behaviour in mediation?
A: Constant interruptions, raised voices, mockery, body language like eye-rolling or leaning forward threateningly.
Q3. How can I prepare if I know the other side is difficult?
A: Write down your points, practise saying them calmly, and trust the mediator to keep balance.
Q4. Is the agreement legally binding?
A: Yes. Once both parties sign, mediation agreements are binding in law–except in community neighbour cases, or workplace agreements that rely on trust and good faith.
Q5. Can bullying behaviour still be managed effectively?
A: Yes. mediation UK processes are designed to protect vulnerable parties and stop intimidation.
Final Thoughts
In disagreements, attempts at aggressive behaviour to silence the other party does not determine the outcome of the mediation. Mediators are adept at recognising the indicators, stopping the intimidation and keeping each voice equal.
If you’ve ever entered mediation, unsure that one side is going to take over, be aware that mediation isn’t one of shouting louder. It’s about safe dialog as well as fair listening and a balanced resolution.
This is why organisations such as Effective Dispute Solutions focus on making sure that, even if one side employs such tactics, the opposing side is never silenced.
